Open Homes - a Breeze. Really?11 Sep 2019

Early on in my relationship with Kevin, I discovered that weekends would be a thing of the past. As most real estate agents know, Saturdays and Sundays are devoted to loading one’s car with signs, cones, flags and stakes (steaks are a term from a bygone era of weekends). Endless boxes, pens and brochures are loaded in and out of the car. I am now an expert at (driving in stakes and illuminating, opening doors, hiding underwear and dispensing air freshener with a professional smile.

Having only recently received my sales licence, I was excited to be doing my first solo open home., not on my own behalf but one of our agents was suddenly unavailable and so I leapt at the chance.

I rehearsed my answers…” We have interest over $500.00… yes the LIM report is available, it’s in the…school zone.”

I knew that I could not make any “unsubstantiated claims” such as “the best house in the street”, or “structurally sound”, but I intended to sell the virtues of this magnificent property. Even though I had actually never seen it.

Armed with the key, I strode confidently up the path of number four looking for the lockbox. I looked at downpipes, verandas, fence post. Nothing. I phoned my indisposed agent friend.

“It’s on the down pipe”, he said confidently.

Aha! I confidently approached all down pipes, noticing as I did so that these vendors were certainly not well prepared for an open home. Bikes lying on the lawn, damp towels draped over the deck. I tidied the shoes at the back door, noting that I would have to do some major tidying once I gained entrance.

No lock box. By this stage I was desperate. Fortunately, no punters had arrived.

I phoned my mate.

“I can’t find the lock box anywhere!”.

‘Are you at number 4?” Definitely.

“Can you see the down pipe.?”

“Yes. But no lock box.”

“Can you see the” For sale” sign?”

Um No. Now there’s a clue!

“Do you think you might be at the wrong house in the wrong street, because my property has a huge “For Sale” sign. “

Into the car. Put the address into the navigation wizard. Seems I am actually a four-minute walk from said property. You guessed it. The next street over.

Into the trusty Harcourts wagon and off at top speed. There is a huge Harcourts sign at number four and three prospective purchasers. There is the lockbox. On the down pipe. Tidy backyard. No towels or shoes.

The clients follow me excitedly into the house.

“Well it’s obviously the best house in the street “I chirp, “and structurally sound”.

I notice that no one is queuing up for me to do their open homes this week. Perhaps my weekends are about to get quieter.